A Twist of Events
by IsisFireDancer
Summary: Angsty slash (RLSB)! Remus Lupin has spent most of his school life with Sirius Black. But can he finally reveal the true nature of his feelings? Does Sirius feel the same way? R
1. Introducing

A Twist of Events  
By IsisFireDancer  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. There is slash in this story, so if you don't like it, don't read it. For a summary of the plot, read the summary. I apologise in advance for any mistakes I make (grammatical or plot-wise) but I am only human (and a over-heated, dehydrated human at that!). If you have any questions (within reason) about the story, leave me a review. Enjoy...  
  
CHAPTER 1: Introducing...  
  
REMUS POV  
  
I was sitting in my favourite armchair in front of the fire. All my friends surrounded me. I was in the middle of sixth year at the world's top wizarding school, Hogwarts.  
  
But I wasn't like my friends. I was a werewolf. And, to make things just that little bit more complicated, I was deeply in love with my best friend. My best friend is male. And so am I.  
  
I've been in love with Sirius since, well... Since I first met him. I was immediately attracted to everything about him; the way his ebony hair fell into his amaranthine eyes and the way he pushed it back with his hands. I was in love with everything about him and his personality. How I longed to run my hands through his hair and have him hold me, whispering tokens of affection in my ear.  
  
But I know that I can never have this. Every day of my life is lived in a land of living dreams. But, I suppose that these dreams keep me sane. Living in the world of fantasy is all that I can really do. So I suppose that everyone else's views of fantasy would be my view of reality. My life is a ritual and I'm subject to it's every order. I'm a dictation and I hate it.  
  
I look over at Sirius now, the joy of my life. But I know that the one thing I desire above all is unattainable, therefore making my life pointless. Upon realising this, my life spiralled steadily downwards and burrowed further into the stinking depths of depression. The only way to get out of this situation is to work. It's my way of escaping.  
  
Right now, I had no more work to do because I had finished it all earlier. So, instead, I sat and thought about the deteriorating state of life.  
  
I looked around me, James and his girlfriend Lily were curled up in each other's arms on the nearest sofa and Peter was playing exploding snap with Sirius. I sighed and wished for company. It seemed that the only company available was in the form of my parchment and quill.  
  
SIRIUS POV  
  
The pack exploded in Peter's face with a loud bang. Peter decided that he had had enough of Exploding Snap and so went upstairs to the dorm. Lily and James followed his lead, leaving only Remus and me in the Common Room.  
  
I got up and walked over to Remus, determined to find out what he was up to. Lately, he had seemed very withdrawn from the group, keeping to the company of his books. I wanted to find out what it was that was troubling him.  
  
He was writing something incredibly quickly on a spare piece of parchment. His eyes never left the page, as if his life depended on writing this text. He did not notice me approaching him from the other side of the fireplace. What was so important and absorbed so much energy? I was going to find out.  
  
"What are you writing?" I asked quietly. His head snapped up and he abruptly stopped his erratic scribbling. He smiled weakly and folded the parchment, tucking it away.  
  
"Nothing of importance," he replied, obviously lying. I looked at him suspiciously. Why was he acting like this? Remus never kept secrets from us, from me. He wasn't a good enough liar. Well, it looked like this secret would also be discovered soon.  
  
"You looked pretty absorbed in it. You didn't even notice me come over to talk to you. Can I see it? I mean, if it's so unimportant then you won't mind me reading it will you?" He looked at me with an expression of tired terror. "What's with you recently Remus? I feel like you're not with us any more; you avoid all possible human contact and I haven't seen you smile since... I don't even know when! Tell me what the matter is!" Silence filled the room. "REMUS! TALK TO ME, GOD DAMN IT!"  
  
"Sirius, the one thing I desire more than anything in this world is impossible for me to have. You have no idea how much it hurts. It's killing me."  
  
"I don't know because you don't tell me! What is it that you desire more than anything? Tell me and be done with it! I can't take the tension between us!" I sat down in the armchair opposite him.  
  
"Sirius, you're the one person I can't tell. Don't you see that? I'm sorry, I truly am."  
  
He left me puzzled as he pulled himself up the stairs to our dorm. Why was I the only one that he couldn't tell??? I was so confused. I had to find out why he couldn't tell me. I decided that it was no use just sitting here, stewing in my own uncertainty. I would talk to Remus tomorrow.  
  
I walked up the stairs wearily, hoping for a good night's sleep and some escape from my problems. I entered the dorm as quietly as possible, hoping not to disturb anyone. I could hear the heavy breathing of several sleepers, so I knew I had succeeded. I climbed into bed after changing quickly. The last thing I heard before sleep took me was the mournful sound of Remus sobbing across the room. I sighed, feeling uneasy but unable to help him at that moment.  
  
AN: What do you all think??? Cake is on offer for any reviewers!!! Think of the CAKE people! Seriously, it's really helpful for me and it only takes a second. Feel free to email me with any questions or whatever. I wrote this whilst listening to Linkin Park-they rule! I have no idea when I will next be able to update but I'll try to do so soon. Feel free to check out my other stories. Have a good one and take care! 


	2. Secrets

**A Twist of Events**

**By IsisFireDancer**

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, this fic is slash so if you don't like it, don't bother reading it. Whatever. Hope you all feel better than I do right now. I'm experimenting with new POVs, so yeah... I probably won't change that but if you don't like it, feel free to complain. Enjoy...

CHAPTER 2: Secrets

SIRIUS POV

I felt really strange after my fight with Remus. We've never fought before and I'm curious as to why we have to now. What's he keeping from me from us? I don't know what to do next.

Why am I the only person he can't tell? It's got to be something to do with me. But I can't get him to talk to me about it because he is so stubborn. I'll have to talk to James about this, see if he can talk to Remus.

I sighed and decided to go and find him now, I don't want this fight to become a full-blown war between us two, it would ruin our friendship.

After a brief search of the dorm, I found James in the common room. He was sitting in the armchair nearest the fire, probably daydreaming about Lily.

"Hey," I said, sitting down in a chair opposite James. He jumped in surprise at the sound of my voice.

"Hey," he said, studying me for a second. "Are you alright mate? You look a bit rough."

"I had this huge fight with Remus last night," I said, sighing. "And I don't even know what it was all about."

"What do you mean?" asked James, looking clearly puzzled now.

"Have you noticed that he's been acting really strange lately?" I asked, pausing for a moment whilst James nodded. "Well, I confronted him about it last night."

"What did he say?"

"He completely freaked out on me. And I got really frustrated. We ended up in a shouting match; it wasn't like Remus at all! Anyway, he said some stuff about me being the only person he _can't_ tell. I just don't get it."

James sat back in his chair. I could almost see the cogs going round in his brain as he tried to digest all the information he'd just been given.

"What do you think?" I asked, feeling a little helpless. I just didn't understand any of this. "Can you talk to him? I really need to understand this."

"I can try to talk to him. But, at the moment, I'm just as puzzled as you about this whole thing," admitted James, pulling himself out of his armchair.

JAMES POV

I thought about everything Sirius had just told me as I got up and walked out of he common room. This wasn't like Remus. But he had been acting strangely for a while now.

Before talking to Remus, I decided to find somewhere to think about this whole thing. I couldn't go to the Great Hall-it was too noisy. Remus would probably be in the library, so I decided to visit the Room of Requirement.

I thought about the ideal room that I could use to think about this whole thing, and it appeared. I entered. It was nothing special, with nothing to distract me.

I sat on the chair in front of the fire and began to think. But how exactly do you begin to think about what to say to your friend who's been acting really strangely?

It would require me to be delicate about everything. I didn't want Remus to storm off or get into with me. The problem was, I'm generally not that good at delicate.

I sighed. This could take some time. I settled down in the chair and stared into the heart of the fire for inspiration.

OK. New plan. What would Lily do? She was good at all this talking about sensitive subjects.

I grabbed the piece of parchment and quill that had appeared on the table next to my chair. I started scribbling down any ideas that came to mind.

A while later, the page was considerably fuller and I decided to take my ideas to Lily and check that I hadn't written anything stupid by accident.

I eventually found Lily outside, sitting under a tree with some friends. They instantly began giggling as I approached. Ugh. Why do girls giggle?

"Hi," I said, walking over to them. More giggling. I internally roll my eyes. "Can I speak to you for a second Lily?"

"Sure," she said, beaming at me. I lead her away from her gaggle of giggling friends to a spot where we can talk without anyone hearing us. "So, what exactly is it that you want? And why all the secrecy?"

I sit her down next to me and begin to explain the whole situation. From the row between Sirius and Remus to my ideas about her being good at talking about 'that kind of stuff.'

"So what do you think?" I asked, handing her the crumpled piece of parchment. I watch her eyes scan the surface quickly. "Well?"

"Listen, James, what you've one is really great but I think I should talk to him," she said, smiling at me.

"I think that would make more sense," I said, internally breathing a sigh of relief. "I would have probably mucked it up anyway."

"I still think it's really sweet of you for trying," she said, giving me a peck on the cheek. "I better go see if I can find Remus then."

"Try the library," I said, knowing that this was Remus' haven. "He's almost always up there."

"You took the thought right out of my head," she said, kissing me lightly on the nose and getting up. "I'll meet you in the common room later and tell you how it goes, OK?"

"OK. See you later," I said hoping that Lily could sort this whole mess out. Or at least help us on our way.

REMUS POV

I got up extra early today. It didn't matter; I hadn't had any sleep anyway. I just lay there crying.

I dressed quickly and breakfasted alone. Then I headed to the familiarity of the library to find a book to lose myself and my feelings in.

I picked up a book on transfigurations and sat in the corner, by a window. I opened the volume and began to read.

It took me several minutes to realise that I'd been reading the same sentence over and over again. I sighed, trying to squash my feelings and throw them out of the window.

I gave up on reading and took to staring out of the window, letting my thoughts swamp me and take over my mind.

I drifted off into my dream world where everything was good and there were no problems or prejudices. I imagined kissing Sirius, running my hands through that ebony mane of hair, feeling his skin on mine...

I was brought back to reality when a small drop of warm water fell onto the back of my hand. I stared at it for a moment, bringing my hand to my face. Crystal droplets cascaded down my cheek and over my fingertips. I took my hand away and stared at the moisture.

I closed my eyes, not trying to stem the flow of tears down my face, and tried to imagine what the world would be like if I wasn't in love with Sirius.

I opened my eyes. I couldn't do it. Sirius was a part of my life and so was my love for him. It was my destiny to love this man and I shouldn't run away from it.

Maybe I was wrong; Sirius was the one person I _should_ tell. He needed to know. Our friendship was already on breaking point because of this fight-why shouldn't I resolve it all and tell him why I'd been acting so differently?

But I knew that it wasn't really that simple. You don't just march up to your best friend of he same sex and stick your tongue down their throat, tell them you love them and hope that everything will turn out alright.

I soon returned to staring out of the window and crying, lost in a world of fantasies and feelings. The real world wasn't what I wanted, so I ignored it. I didn't care how much time had passed or what had happened in that amount of time.

I was still crying when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around in surprise. Brushing away some of my tears I discovered that it was Lily. What was she doing here?

AN: Dun dun duuuuuuuun! Hehe. When I finally give you a chapter I end it with a cliffie-I'm soooooo evil! So shoot me. I won't keep you waiting long. I've already started the next chapter. From now on, when I update it will be on weekends only.

Thanks and cake goes to:

Spootasia Tomoe: OMG! I love you name! I'm glad you find my story interesting! Well, the next chapter's right here!

AffectedMangoO: You have a good point but it's a story! Whether it's believable or not doesn't matter lol! You have your next chapter!

Rin the Kitsune: Cake, glorious cake! Begins to cry for Remus

Ashy and Cheryl: I'll try my best to keep the emotion flowing!

Angel4eva3: Wow! Thank you for your kind review. Blushes I'm glad you enjoy it and don't worry-they will get together!

shea89: Glad you're enjoying my work lol. I'll try to keep my updates regular.

prosthetic.ballerina: Here's your Sirius shaped cake! Sorry it took so long! Thank you ï I hope you do keep reviewing!

JenniNikki: I'm glad you liked it. I have TWO chapters here! And your cake is here!!! Enjoy it!

squiddie03: Thank you for your kind words! Have some cake!

Keep reading and thanks for all your wonderful comments. Remember: THE CAKE IS COUNTING ON YOUR REVIEWS!!!! Reviews might also speed up the updates ;) Take care and blessed be!


	3. Hopes and Fears

**A Twist of Events**

**By IsisFireDancer**

DISCLAIMER: As usual I own nothing. This is slash so you can go away if you don't like it. GRRR! Feel irritable. Any brilliance you spot is probably J.K. Rowlings, as I highly doubt it is mine. Any mistakes can be blamed on me. I currently have a tendency to invent new words that no one else can understand. Anyway, I'll shut up now. Enjoy...

CHAPTER 3: Hopes and Fears

LILY POV

I finally found Remus on his own in the library, as James had predicted. He was sitting in the corner staring out of the window. I reached over and placed my hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

He spun around and looked at me in shock but I didn't really notice, as I was too busy staring at the tears that were falling down his face.

I don't think I've ever seen Remus cry before. He's one of those private people who always bottles up his emotions, so I guess it was a shock to see such a change in him.

I pull up a chair and sit next to him as he wipes some of the tears from his eyes. I can see that he's puzzled to see me.

"Lily? What are you doing here?" he asked, hastily trying to wipe away any evidence that he had been crying. It wasn't working. His face was red and blotchy and the top of his robe was damp. He wiped his hands on his robes and looked at me in such a helpless way that I wanted to hug him.

"Why were you crying?" I asked, deciding to see what he was willing to tell me before I told him what I knew.

"I take it you know about what happened between me and Sirius last night," he said, fiddling with a piece of thread that was hanging off the sleeve of his robe. I nodded waiting for him to continue. To my surprise another tear fell down his face.

"Remus? Come here," I said, pulling him into an embrace and gently rocking him. "Sirius... He was just worried about you. We all are. I just want to know how I can help you."

"Do you really want to know?" he almost whispered, pulling himself out of my arms. I looked at him; tears running down his face and emotion emanating from every fibre of his being. He looked so vulnerable and o hurt.

"Yes, I do want to know. Please, Remus, you have to tell me. It kills me to see you like this," I said quietly.

"Do you promise that you won't tell anyone and you won't laugh or... or hate me for it," he said, looking at me in earnest. I nodded. "I don't believe I'm going to tell you this."

REMUS POV

"The thing is..." I said, taking a deep breath. I looked into Lily's eyes and prepared myself for her reaction. Why was I even telling her? "I-I'm in love with Sirius."

"You are?" she asked softly. "Wow. I can see how that's a problem. Why did you think I'd hate you for it? It doesn't matter, you're still the same Remus," she smiled at me. "I think it's kind of sweet."

"You do?" I asked in complete and utter amazement. "I just thought that... you'd think I was weird and stop being my friend."

"No way," she said. "Like I'd do _that_ to a friend! How evil do you think I am? Anyway, I'm going to help you in every way possible."

"You will?" I asked, still feeling very shell-shocked and rather queasy. Lily's reaction made it a whole lot easier to think about telling Sirius.

"Don't look so shocked," she said, grinning at me. "So... When are you going to tell Sirius?"

"What do you mean tell Sirius?" I asked, the words reverberating through my body. Tell Sirius... _Tell Sirius..._ "I can't. It'd ruin everything."

"You're not going to tell him?" she asked, looking at me incredulously. "You _have_ to tell him Remus. You have to. He might feel the same way about you, you just don't know. The question is, do you want to spend the rest of your life in pain, wishing you'd done something or you can tell him and feel glad that you at least had courage enough to do that."

"But... I'm scared," I whisper, feeling ashamed and very stupid.

"Everyone gets scared at some time, you just have to get over that and work up the guts to face your fears and embrace your dreams instead," said Lily. "Besides, it'll sound better coming from you than from someone else. You really have to tell him soon, Remus or someone else might get there before you." Lily got up. "Think about it," she said and turned to leave.

"WAIT!" I hear myself crying out. She turned back. "You can tell James and Peter if you want to, but tell them not to tell Sirius. If you see him anywhere, tell him to meet me up here." I smiled at her.

"Of course I will Remus," she said, smiling at me broadly. "He won't freak out, I promise you." And with this she left.

I returned to looking out of the window. Lily was right-I had to tell Sirius and as soon as possible. I just couldn't bear it if he was in love with someone else, it would break my world, me. It'd be like being dead.

"Remus?" I whipped around, immediately falling into a pair of azure eyes. Oh God. I had to tell him. I had to tell him now.

"Sirius," I said, trembling in anticipation and fear. How the HELL am I going to tell him? "I need to talk to you. Sit down."

"Lily sent me up, she said that you needed to speak with me urgently. She looked very flustered," he said, giving me one of his gorgeous crooked smiles. I almost melted on the spot.

"Um, yes. Well, it's about why I've been acting so weird recently and it has something to do with that fight we had yesterday," I said.

"Yeah, um.. About that... I'm really sorry I shouted at you," he said, giving me another smile. He'd better stop smiling at me or I'll jump on him and devour him right here, right now! I wonder if he's a good kisser... Christ! I'm acting like a girl! "Uh... Remus!"

"Oh yeah, sorry. Please don't hate me for telling you this, but the reason I've been acting so crazy is because-"

"Mr Black!"

"What the hell?" I asked, exceedingly pissed off that someone had just ruined the moment. I soon began to regret what I had just yelled, when Professor McGonagall appeared at the edge of the bookcase. "Sorry Professor."

"If you don't mind Mr Lupin I need to speak to Mr Black for a moment," she said, looking at me pointedly (AN: Is that even a word? Well... It is now!).

"I'll go, don't worry," I said, pulling myself up and out of my chair. I sighed internally and decided to go and find Lily before she did anything stupid. I could really do without saucy rumours going round my friends.

I made my way up the staircase that lead to the portrait of the Fat Lady, feeling belated. How could McGonagall have interrupted us at _that_ particular moment??? Did she nothing of the virtue of good timing?

Suddenly, a thought crossed my mind. Maybe it was a sign. Maybe it was a sign that it wasn't meant to be. Maybe I was just being completely paranoid.

Why was life always _so_ bloody complicated? If there was a god, he must hate my guts.

"Why is it always me?" I asked no one in particular. "What did I do specifically? But then, life isn't supposed to be easy."

"That's lovely dear, but could I just have the password please?" I almost jumped out of my skin, finding myself in front of the Fat Lady.

"Oh sorry. Opium," I said, waiting to be omitted into the warmth of the common room. Carefully, I stepped inside the portrait. I spotted Lily in an instant, talking to James and Peter.

I walked towards them, angling for the comfy armchair. It was so squishy you could almost get lost in it. That's what I wanted just then: to be lost. I sat down, immediately putting myself in Lily's attentions.

"Remus!" she cried in a very breathless voice. She was obviously waiting for me to tell her that we had confessed our undying love for one another. "What happened? Did you tell him?"

"No, McGonagall interrupted me at a crucial moment," I said, hearing the bitterness in my own voice. "I take it you've told them," I said motioning towards James and Peter.

"No I haven't actually, I thought it would sound better coming from you. What do you think McGonagall wanted with Sirius?"

"God knows," I said. "Couldn't she have just waited until another time to go and find Sirius?"

"So... When are you going to tell him?" asked Lily, fiddling with a small strand of her fiery red hair.

"I... I don't know if I'm going to," I said, slowly. I looked at Lily's pained face. "I think it's like a sign telling me not to do it."

"Remus... Please don't do this to yourself. It's just not fair," she said, staring straight into my eyes. I knew she meant it. "James, help me prove my point to him," she said, turning on James with pleading eyes.

"I would but I still have no idea what either of you are talking about," responded James, clearly surprised to be brought into the conversation.

"Love. James, it's about love. If you were in love with someone, you'd tell them wouldn't you? You wouldn't let them go, let your heart break. You'd have to tell them."

"You're in love? Who-" James began, appearing quite shocked by Lily's words.

"Sirius."

"Sirius? What the hell has Sirius got to do with any of this?" asked James. Lily gave him an exasperated look and I wondered how people could be so stupid at times.

"James... I'm in love with Sirius," I said, almost whispering his name. I looked to him for a response, but he seemed a little shocked. The only response that came from Peter was a snore.

"Uh... Remus, if you think he'll make you happy... then I'm alright with it," said James, as I smiled at him gratefully. "So what are you gonna do about this whole situation?"

James' question was left unanswered, as Sirius came through the portrait. All eyes were on him as he came to sit near us. His handsome face was expressionless.

"What is it?" James asked quietly, voicing the thoughts of everyone in our little group.

AN: I too evil! Review if you want more! AND there is still cake up for grabs. Hope everyone is still good. Blessed Be! P.S. Thanks to any reviewers who have reviewed this in the last five minutes as I posted this chappie right after chapter two! I award you cake!


	4. Draw Daggers!

**Draw Daggers!**

AN: I know you all hate me! I'm sooooooooo unbelievably sorry! We got some silly virus and our computer got hacked. As if that wasn't enough, our computer went banzai and the CD drive blew up! Damn modern technology...

Anyway, the point is, we had to get a new computer and it took a while to get enough money together and then set everything up. This is the reason that I have not reviewed in several weeks.

Feel free to throw rotten eggs at my computer, me or the infernal person who hacked our computer and gave us a virus! Whatever makes you feel better.

I'll be updating all my stories in a few days time-it may take a while to get all my ideas together, but I'll update ASAP!

Thank you for putting up with this interruption and you shall be rewarded with extra long chapters! AND double helpings of cake! And don't say I don't bribe you...

IsisFireDancer


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